Tag Archives: Dad

She Cooks, We Clean

I know that I can be simple minded sometimes and this one seems fundamental, but I thought I would put it out there anyhow. If the mother of the household cooks then dad and the kids should clean up, right? Something seems wrong if everyone scatters to do their own thing when dinner is over except for mom. Something is definitely not right if the kids scatter when dinner is over and leave dad and mom to clean up.

There are many benefits of eating dinner together as a family every day.
One of them is an excellent opportunity to teach your kids the importance of working together to help get the dining area and kitchen cleaned up afterwards.

In our house, a fringe benefit of having 3 boys that are old enough to work is that the duties can be spread out amongst each of us.
One is responsible for cleaning the table and sweeping the floor; another is responsible for cleaning the dishes; another helps put food away and I clean off the counters and stove.

If your kids are still young, they can at least carry their own plate or cup to the sink. Naturally, as they get older, then they can do more.

Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

If it is just you and your wife, if you only have one child or if you are a single mom, the same principle applies. Mom should not have to do it all. The work load should be shared amongst everyone in the house.

If you are already practicing this in your home, then you are probably living in a happy home; cause when momma is happy, everyone is happy.

If your household might need a little work, then the following is how I would go about getting the ship turned in the right direction.

1. First, have dinner together.
This may seem obvious, but if you don’t typically eat at a dinner table together then it’s harder for the kids to form the habits you might be looking for.

2. Talk about it.
Don’t just start hollering and giving marching orders. Make it the topic of the next dinner conversation. Discuss why it is important for everyone to pitch in and help. State what you need help with and then give everyone the option of choosing which one they would like to do.

3. Have the same person do the same task every time.
If no one knows what the other is doing, then something will get left undone or there will just be plain chaos. We are creatures of habit.
The challenging part of this though is trying to prevent your kids from thinking only about theirselves and their own job and not wanting to cross the line and help someone else out when needed.

Good luck and happy cleaning!
If you have any comments or suggestions please share.

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Parenting 2014: Our Story

Our parenting journey began with the birth of Collin in October 1998. Becky and I were still young at the time, in our lower 20s. Both of our careers were still developing, but we decided that it would be best if she quit her job to stay at home with the kids. Those early years don’t last long and they are so critical in a childs’ development.

Connor was born 15 months after Collin and then Colton about 3.5 years after him. That allowed Becky 8 or 9 years to be at home with the kids before they were all in school. She continued her education while she was at home though and became an RN so that she would have something to do when the kids reached school age. We do not regret the decision for her to be at home with the kids one bit. Our kids received a lot of one on one time and that has helped them tremendously in more ways than we probably know of.

During their early years Becky and I read to them a lot and just simply spent time playing with them. I remember being on the floor a lot, letting them roll me around like a log. Blue Clues, Dora and the Wiggles were popular then as well. Collin learned to write by mimicking Steve and his Handy Dandy Notebook with a Magna Doodle that we had bought him and still to this day, I find myself singing songs like “Big Red Car” and “Fruit Salad, Yummy, Yummy”. Dora was a step ahead of Dave Ramsey, by saying, “Swiper, No swiping.” We took lots of pictures and videos and had a blast while they were young.

As the kids grew older we started them off in T-ball for a couple of years and dabbled in gymnastics, but one day Collin came home from school with a martial arts book and expressed interest in trying that out. We researched a couple options and decided to go with TKD (Tae Down Do). After Collin started, Connor got in it, then Colton and I joined. Martial arts became a family thing that we did together for about 6 or 7 years. It was a large commitment, because we were at the school for several days a week, but we all eventually met our goal and became black belts. Collin and Connor even earned their second degree.

During this time we also were introduced to a ministry called Bible Quizzing at our church and have since committed our lives to that. Bible Quizzing is a program that is meant to give kids motivation, through competition, for learning scriptures from the Bible, but we are not just talking a few scriptures. Our kids learned 300 to 500 verses each year depending on the age division they are in. We spend an hour or so each evening memorizing and reviewing scriptures together. They must know them to the point that given a unique word they can tell you what verse that word is found in and then quote the scripture word for word. I take them and other quizzers to local and national tournaments to quiz against other teams on what they have learned. Bible quizzing has changed our lives forever. If you are interested in learning more about it check out http://www.seniorbiblequizzing.com or http://www.upcquiz.com.

Even with Bible Quizzing as our main focus, the kids still love to do things many other kids do. Connor made the middle school basketball team this year and Colton plays Upward basketball, a christian based basketball league sponsored by a local church.
Collin started piano when he was 10 and has excelled at that. He performs multiple recitals each year and has joined the music ministry at the church, playing for the youth services as well as subbing in when needed for the main services. Collin has also become infatuated with the Rubix cube. He has spent countless hours mastering it to the point that he can now solve it in under 20 seconds average, with his best time so far being 12 seconds. Connor and Colton have recently began music lessons as well. One is learning guitar and the other drums. I play the bass, so my dream is that one day we can all play together as a family band.

I share all of this with you so that as I write on parenting in 2014 you will know that we are just a typical American family, but we are also rooted and grounded in our christian faith. We love God and we love family and our main goal as parents is to make those things the foundation upon which our kids are raised.

I look forward to writing on parenting this year. As we get deeper into the teenage years, I am realizing that we have a lot of learning to do if we are to stay on top of things and help our kids become what God has intended for them to be.

May God bless you in 2014


What Can Be Learned From a Child’s Poem About Family

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My youngest son wrote this poem in school.
As I write this I am attempting to look at it through the eyes of someone else rather than my own.
If I were his teacher, reading through this poem, this is what I would have learned about his family.

Dad cooks breakfast and mom cooks dinner.
Mom and Dad are working together, sharing the duties of the family.

This family takes road trips together.
This means taking time out from the hustle and bustle of every day life to get away and spend time together.

Mom is very kind and tenderhearted.
She is there to help when they fall down and get wounded physically as well as emotionally.

No family is perfect.
There will be fighting between siblings and even disagreements between the kids and parents, but this is normal and even needed in order to learn and grow.

This family has routines, such as eating pizza on Friday’s.
This gives the kids something to expect and look forward to each week.

This family uses sports as a way of interacting with each other and spending time together.

This family believes in prayer and going to church and they do it consistently; prayer every night and church every Wednesday and Sunday.

Challenge: See if you can get your child to sit down and write their own poem about “Where I am From” and see what they reveal about your family. A child speaks from the heart and can be very honest in their words. I pray that you will be touched by what they say as much as I was.


“Where I’m From” – A poem about family, by my youngest son

This poem touched my heart in more ways than one and I just had to share it.

In my next post I”ll share what I’ve learned from my son and how his poem can be used as a guideline for a happy and loving family.

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I am from a family that my dad cooks pancakes.
I am from cars driving from the road at sunset.
I am from mom’s kindness and dad’s good pancakes.
I am from my brother’s meanness and fighting a lot.
I am from Greenville, SC.
We travel through some states.
I’m from a family that eat’s pizza on Fridays.
I’m from a family that plays sports like basketball and watching football.
I’m from a family that goes to 2 different schools, elementary and middle school.
I am from a place that my dad cooks every morning and my mom cooks at night.
I am from a family that my mom and dad prays with me every night.
I am from a family that goes to church every Sunday and Wednesday night.

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Why I Love My Boys

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This Father’s Day I am very thankful for the three boys that God has bless me with.

I do not have any daughters. I have heard how wonderful and special they are to a father, but as for me, I am perfectly content with my boys for several reasons.

  • Our last name can be carried on for another generation and with three boys there is a great chance that at least one of them will have sons, so the name will likely continue for even longer.
  • We are able to pass down clothes. (It’s hard to pass on girls clothes to a boy and vice versa)
  • Us guys can walk around the house in our underwear, if we so choose, and not have to worry about girls. (My wife is a woman, not a girl, and their mother, so she doesn’t matter)
  • Boys can share a room or bed if needed.
  • Boys don’t need 50 pair of shoes, purses and make up.
  • Boys are simple; easy to shop for and easy to get dressed.
  • Boys are less dramatic than girls.
  • Boys can get ready to go somewhere in 10 minutes.

Please don’t take me wrong. If God would have blessed me with girls I would be writing about why I love my girls, but he didn’t and I do love my boys!

Please feel free to comment and share your reasons for why you like your boys or girls.

 

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# 1 Dad

My youngest son made this for me at church last night.
He even gave me a string to wear the tie with.
I love being a Dad.

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