Category Archives: Leadership

The Importance of Raising Great Adults

Andy Andrews says, “We’re not trying to raise great kids. We’re trying to raise kids who become great adults.”

Our role as parents is larger than most might think.
The future of our country and this world will be shaped by how we are raising our kids today.
Kids are going to be kids for only 25% of their lives. The other 75% they will be adults functioning with whatever core values and fundamentals they have learned from their parents.

We have our kids under our control, like a boat tied to a dock. As they grow older we give them a little bit more slack in the rope at a time until eventually we have to untie the rope and set them free? All of our hard work and time spent with them then gets put to test out in the real world. Will they float or sink? Will they drift aimlessly in the open waters or will they be like a speed boat aimed in a certain direction and gunning it as fast as they can? (Hopefully in the right direction)

In order to raise great adults that are going to be able to sail in the open waters and impact this world positively we must teach our kids to have faith and trust in God, to love your family, to have a great attitude, how to face and conquer problems, how to react when things to go their way, how to deal with conflict, respect for others, work ethic, serving others and the community, to never stop learning, good morals, integrity, how to be a problem solver instead of a problem creator, how to think positively and so much more.

God has blessed my wife and I with 3 boys. I love them and cherish every moment that I can get with them.
But I realize that they will not be kids forever and that their most important and influential days are ahead of them.
They really are great kids, but my goal is that they will become great adults.

How about you? Have you ever thought about it that way?
Please share what you think by commenting below.
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Thank you and God bless.


Cold Fries: Another Lesson from the Drive-Thru

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We’ve all experienced it at some point.
You order a hamburger and fries through the drive-thru.
As you are taking off you reach into the bag to steal just a taste of the fries.
And why not? They always place the fries on top of everything else and they are not in a wrapper like the burgers. It’s just too easy.
What’s worse is the kids are watching your every move from the back seat, salivating and wondering if you are taking one of their fries or not.
There is nothing like good, hot, fresh french fries from the drive-thru.

You happen to pull the longest fry from the bunch and as you place it into your mouth and take the first bite your excitement turns sour when you find that they are stale and cold or luke warm at best.
Not good!

So, now what? No one likes cold fries.
Do you just drive on and deal with it?
Do you have a pity party, fuss and complain?
Do you go ahead and eat the cold fries and hope that this was just a one time event?
Is it worth the hassle to turn around and go ask for more fries?

Let’s think about it from another perspective and then decide.
What if you are the manager of the restaurant and you had no idea that your customers were getting cold fries and not happy?
Maybe there was an equipment malfunction or a new employee who just needed to be trained properly?
What about the people in the car behind you, who are going to get cold fries as well?

You have the power to change it all if you will just park the car, grab your fries, go inside and make the manager aware.
You don’t do it in a mean way, but with an attitude like you would take when helping an elderly person across the street.
You are there to help.

Now everyone is happy. Not only do you end up with freshest, hottest fries possible, but so do your kids and the people next in line that you don’t even know. Even the manager should be happy that you made him/her aware of the problem.

What if you decided not to go back and make the matter known?
Could you be mad or upset if you get cold fries the next time? No, because you didn’t do anything about it.

It’s not all about the cold fries…
It’s about thinking of others, rather than yourself.
It’s about making a difference and effecting the world around you.
It’s about helping others.
It’s about doing something about the situation you’ve been given, instead of just dealing with it and waiting for someone else to take charge.

So the next time you get cold fries, literally or figuratively, do something about it. You can make a difference; You can make your life and those around you better.
Even if it’s one fry at a time. 🙂

What do you think?
Have you ever received cold fries and gone back to get them replaced?
If so, did you have the right attitude and intent?
Please share by commenting below.

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“Is That It?”, A Lesson from the Drive-Thru

We recently went through a drive-thru to order ice-cream for the family.
We have 5 to order for and sometimes it is difficult to have everyone’s order ready by the time you get to the window.

After placing an order for 2 vanilla ice-cream cones the drive-thru attendant says to me, “Is that it?”
I said, “No. Just a moment please.”

I then asked for 2 chocolate cones, and before I could open my mouth again the attendant says, “Is that it?”
At this point I am starting to get aggravated and said, “No, we have one more order.”
“I would like a mixed cone please and yes, that is it!”

Apparently, that guy was ready to end his shift and go home or just plainly didn’t care if they made any sales that day or not.
He was looking to do the minimum amount of work required to get the job done.

When I pulled up to the drive through to get my order, I had a gentle conversation with the guy and tried to help him out.
“You know, you will probably get more orders and have happier customers if you start asking them, ‘What else can I get for you?’ or ‘Would you like anything else?'” “You might even get complimented on and even promoted.”

I didn’t say it in a mean way. I was just attempting to teach him a lesson on how to properly serve others.

I’ve had to teach my kids the same lesson every now and then.

The other day my teenage son was helping me with some yard work.
After he completed his little part he came to me and said, “Is that it?”
Just like the drive-thru attendant, he was ready to be done and get back to his thing.
I looked at him and said, “How about asking, ‘Is there anything else that I can help you with dad?'”
I then explained the importance of thinking of others, rather than yourself and always doing more than expected.

How about you? Have you had a similar drive-thru experience, either at a restaurant or with your child?


Do You Know Your Love Language?

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More importantly, Do you know your spouses love language?

Each and every one of us has a primary and often secondary love language.
I just recently discovered mine and now I’m excited to help others do the same.

What is a love language and why do we need to know it?
Gary Chapman, a relationship counselor, wrote a book called, “The 5 Love Languages”.
In it he explains the 5 different languages and how each one of us are uniquely gifted with one as our primary way of being loved.

If you have been married for any time at all, then you know that it’s a life long process of continually learning the differences between you and your spouse. The two of you are not the same and if you were, then one of you is not needed.
Discovering both yours and your spouses love language is a huge piece of the puzzle that will help your marriage tremendously.

The 5 Love Languages are…
1. Words of Affirmation
2. Acts of Service
3. Receiving Gifts
4. Quality Time
5. Physical Touch

Which one is yours?

Do you like to be complimented?
Do you like it when someone does something for you or helps you?
Do you like it when someone gives you something?
Do like to just hang out?
Do you like to be close to your spouse, give hugs or hold hands?

Gary Chapman offers a free test that you can take online at www.5lovelanguages.com.
There is also a free app for your phone or tablet available. Search “Love Languages” in the App Store.
It is well worth your time to go online and take the test. It only takes a few minutes.
Make sure your spouse takes the test also and then share the results with each other.

Don’t be surprised if you find out that how you prefer to be loved is completely opposite of your spouse!

That is exactly what I discovered.
Her main love language, what she values the most, was actually my least favorite way to be loved.
The score for her main love language was a 10 and my score, for that same language, was a 1.

Does that mean that we are incompatible? No way. We have been married 17 years, and counting, and love each other very much.
Figuring out what we each value the most can only make our marriage even stronger now. It can only help us to love each other more than we ever have before.

What it does mean, though, is that for me to truly love my wife, in the way that she likes to be loved, I must do the thing that I desire the least. I must sacrifice for her. That’s not easy.
But isn’t that what true love is all about anyhow. It’s about sacrifice. Putting others needs before your own.
It’s not all about me or you, when it comes to relationships and marriage.

A fun thing that you may find, after you both take the test, is that you may also have some languages in common.
For example, receiving gifts is not something that either my wife nor I like very much.
So the cool thing is that when it comes to birthdays and anniversaries, buying the perfect gift is something that we may not need to stress out about.
The focus should actually be put on giving each other what we value the most, which is likely going to be different, our primary love language.

Go online and take the test today. Then share what you learned.
If this has been helpful to you , please share it with others.
Together, we can make a difference.


Sometimes It’s Better To Be Dumb

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Have you ever come in contact with someone who thinks they know everything?
No matter what you tell them, they are quick to respond with, “Yea.  I know” or “Knew that already”.

How does that make you feel?  Immediately your countenance falls and your like, “oh”.
All the excitement that was just in you, hoping to share information that you thought they didn’t know, suddenly goes away leaving you wondering what to say next. You feel dumb.

Now put yourself in their shoes.

Somebody comes running to you clearly excited about something that they had just learned.
As they begin talking, you immediately realize that you already know what they are talking about.  You either figured it out on your own or somebody else already told you.

Will you play like you didn’t know or belittle them by crashing their spirits with, “Alrighty knew that”, before they even finish?

Sometimes its better to be dumb.

According to the dictionary, the definition of dumb means lacking the power of speech, temporarily speechless or unwilling to speak.

Yes, sometimes it is better to be dumb.
Sometimes it’s better to not say anything at all or act speechless in order to lift the other person up and let them have their moment.

Its a good feeling to know something that somebody else doesn’t know.  To be able to teach somebody something that they didn’t know before or to make them better off than they were.

Why not give someone else the chance to feel that way?

Be dumb!


Sometimes it’s Better To Be Wrong Than Right

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This one is hard to accept, but there are many circumstances where it is simply better to be wrong than right.

Now, don’t get me wrong, 🙂 there are also many circumstances where it is essential to be right.
If you are a doctor, lawyer, accountant or counselor giving someone advise it is better to be right than wrong, for sure.

But, if you are having a general conversation with someone about topics that are not necessarily critical to yours or their well being and the conversation turns argumentative, there is a point where it is often better to be wrong than right.

Think about this… Does anyone ever really win an argument?

Assume your in a heated conversation with a good friend and you know without a doubt that you are right and they are wrong.
You don’t back down and even pull out your smart phone, find the facts online, and then shove it in their face.

Conversation over! Now there is complete silence.

Ok, so you win, right?

Not really. You may have proved the facts and your feeling high and mighty at the moment but for what cost?
Now the other person feels belittled or maybe even stupid.
They may also be downright mad at you now and won’t talk to you or even want to be around you for who knows how long.

Was it worth it or should you maybe have let them win for the moment and then go search the truth on their own?
Most of the time, the things that we get in arguments over are meaningless and not worth the fight.

This is a tough one for me even at times. I just recently chose to be right and prove the other person wrong over something that really had no significance whatsoever and I regret it.

Sometimes it’s better to be wrong than right, if you want to keep a friend.
Sometimes it’s better to be wrong than right, if you want to keep your marriage.
Sometimes it’s better to be wrong than right, if you want to keep your relationship with co-workers.
Sometimes it’s just simply better to be wrong than right!

Be wrong today about something and feel good about it!

If this has been has been of help to you, please share it with others or let me know your thoughts by commenting below.
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Have a great day!


Are You Others-Centered or Self-Centered?

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Most of us are likely familiar with the term “self-centered”, but how many of you have heard of the term “others-centered”.

I learned of this term by reading the late Zig Ziglar’s, “Born to Win” book.
Before then I can honestly say that I have never heard the term before and it really struck a chord in my life.

What are we here on this earth for?
Is it all about us or is it all about others?

Take a look at the bullseye picture above and let’s assume that is your world.
If you placed a picture of someone in the center, who would you see?

Would you see a picture of yourself or would you see a picture of your family, your wife, your kids, your friends.

Everything that we do should be centered around others.

Pray for others
Love others
Serve others
Cook for others
Give to others

One of Zig Ziglar’s most popular sayings was this…
“If you help enough others get what they want, then you will eventually get what you want”

When you become Others-Centered instead of Self-Centered your life changes for ever.

Try it today and every day and see how you can be a blessing to others.


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