More importantly, Do you know your spouses love language?
Each and every one of us has a primary and often secondary love language.
I just recently discovered mine and now I’m excited to help others do the same.
What is a love language and why do we need to know it?
Gary Chapman, a relationship counselor, wrote a book called, “The 5 Love Languages”.
In it he explains the 5 different languages and how each one of us are uniquely gifted with one as our primary way of being loved.
If you have been married for any time at all, then you know that it’s a life long process of continually learning the differences between you and your spouse. The two of you are not the same and if you were, then one of you is not needed.
Discovering both yours and your spouses love language is a huge piece of the puzzle that will help your marriage tremendously.
The 5 Love Languages are…
1. Words of Affirmation
2. Acts of Service
3. Receiving Gifts
4. Quality Time
5. Physical Touch
Which one is yours?
Do you like to be complimented?
Do you like it when someone does something for you or helps you?
Do you like it when someone gives you something?
Do like to just hang out?
Do you like to be close to your spouse, give hugs or hold hands?
Gary Chapman offers a free test that you can take online at www.5lovelanguages.com.
There is also a free app for your phone or tablet available. Search “Love Languages” in the App Store.
It is well worth your time to go online and take the test. It only takes a few minutes.
Make sure your spouse takes the test also and then share the results with each other.
Don’t be surprised if you find out that how you prefer to be loved is completely opposite of your spouse!
That is exactly what I discovered.
Her main love language, what she values the most, was actually my least favorite way to be loved.
The score for her main love language was a 10 and my score, for that same language, was a 1.
Does that mean that we are incompatible? No way. We have been married 17 years, and counting, and love each other very much.
Figuring out what we each value the most can only make our marriage even stronger now. It can only help us to love each other more than we ever have before.
What it does mean, though, is that for me to truly love my wife, in the way that she likes to be loved, I must do the thing that I desire the least. I must sacrifice for her. That’s not easy.
But isn’t that what true love is all about anyhow. It’s about sacrifice. Putting others needs before your own.
It’s not all about me or you, when it comes to relationships and marriage.
A fun thing that you may find, after you both take the test, is that you may also have some languages in common.
For example, receiving gifts is not something that either my wife nor I like very much.
So the cool thing is that when it comes to birthdays and anniversaries, buying the perfect gift is something that we may not need to stress out about.
The focus should actually be put on giving each other what we value the most, which is likely going to be different, our primary love language.
Go online and take the test today. Then share what you learned.
If this has been helpful to you , please share it with others.
Together, we can make a difference.